


How to Game Like an Idiot

by rixsig-writes (rixsig)



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: But also rage-gamer Yoosung, Do-gooder Yoosung, Fluff, M/M, Protective Yoosung, We're gonna get all types of Yoosung up in this fic, Zen is awful at literally everything, Zen turning up the charm, jealous yoosung
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-30
Updated: 2017-10-19
Packaged: 2018-09-03 03:48:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8695234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rixsig/pseuds/rixsig-writes
Summary: In a universe where the RFA never existed, the famous actor Zen tries an unorthodox method of solving his smoking problem: playing LOLOL instead.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> did u think you'd seen the last of me

It’s not so much a vice as a comfort thing, Zen reasons. Sometimes when the stress tightens his shoulders and he feels that restless itch he likes to have a smoke by the window and unwind. He knows it’s not the best habit to have—he’s been half-heartedly trying to quit for ages—but agitation always gets him in the end. What can he say? All of his discipline gets used up in his acting training. He is _very_ devoted to acting after all.

It’s only a mild addiction at worst. No one could claim him to be a chain smoker. At least not until now. Zen ruefully grinds out his fourth cigarette in a row and drops the stub in the ashtray on the windowsill. His stress has been at an all-time high recently. Even he thinks this is a bit much, but his fingers still twitch for his cigarette pack. Instead he sighs, waves the last wisps of smoke out the window, and goes off to get the air freshener out from under the sink.

If only he got along better with his co-star. If only the director could make up his mind on what he actually wanted in a scene instead of shooting endless re-takes. If only, if only…

But if wishful thinking could have solved his problems everything would be fixed already. Instead he has this: the exact same problem as before and an apartment that stinks of tobacco. He sprays the air freshener for a good few seconds. It doesn’t work nearly as well as it usually does.

He sighs and heads to the bathroom, getting ready for bed. As he brushes his teeth he leans in close to the mirror. Is that the stress tightening the corners of his eyes? The color of his skin, though still stunning of course, isn’t quite right either. Zen frowns. If nothing else he needs to cut back for the sake of his beauty. It wouldn’t do to ruin such a gift of a face. Oh, he can already imagine the mournful fans wailing…

He’s in the middle of putting his moisturizer on when his phone chimes. Ah, Saeyoung. One of the workers on set. Super friendly, kind of zany, and definitely weird. Zen still doesn’t understand what exactly his job is, but he’s given up on asking.

‘Good job on the shooting today!!' It reads, 'Even if the director’s eyebrows looked like they were on a perpetual collision course LOL'

‘No thanks to you,’ Zen types back one-handed so he can finish his skin-care routine, ‘I don’t know how you got the lights to do that but I thought the director was going to have a stroke.’

‘No luck yet,’ Saeyoung replies, ‘But he doesn’t take care of his health very well so I wouldn’t count it out forever~'

Health, huh? He doesn’t know if there’s any use in bringing this up to someone like Saeyoung, but it couldn’t hurt.

‘Hey, do you know of any good ways to quit smoking?’

‘Smoking?!!!’ Saeyoung sends, ‘The famous actor Zen a smoker??? Tragic!!!!’

Zen waits out Saeyoung’s fit of melodrama in the hopes of getting a real response. Surprisingly it pays off this time.

‘How about you do something to get your mind off of it,’ Saeyoung continues, ‘Something fun!’

‘What do you mean something fun?’ Zen tilts his head. The only thing he can think of that can distract him from smoking is going out on his motorcycle, but he’s been trying to rein that in too...it’s bad to drive while upset. It’s easier to speed and drive dangerously in that mindset. He’s learned that the hard way.

‘I have just the thing...a game!!! Don’t worry about it, I’ll send you an email!’

And sure enough he does. It’s got a link to some online game called LOLOL and a barebones explanation for how the game itself works. Zen doesn’t understand any of it. What the hell is DPS? Races? Classes? There’s so much jargon in there it might has well be in a foreign language. Zen boots up his laptop anyway and downloads what the website tells him to download. And then after it installs it starts downloading some more. It takes a very long time. Are games really supposed to be this big?

‘Are you sure this is going to help?’ Zen sends while watching the progress bar slowly, slowly inch towards the other end of the screen.

‘O.M.G. are you really gonna do it??'

Zen wants to protest—in retrospect Saeyoung’s probably just doing this to get a laugh out of it—but well...he is already downloading it. He’s committed at this point. At the very least he can give it a shot. So when the download finishes he follows the instructions, makes an account, signs in, and starts making his character.

...he still has no idea what any of this stuff is. Race apparently means what type of creature-person you want to be? Obviously, Zen chooses the prettiest option available: some sort of tall, ethereal-looking being with pointy ears and long hair that looks a little like a character from that fantasy movie The Lady of the Bracelets. He’s able to make the hair silver and change the eye color to red to match himself, but he isn’t able to do anything about the muscle definition or facial structure. Oh well, it’s passable, Zen supposes, even if it pales in comparison to his real self.

Next up is...class. As far as Zen can tell it’s the sort of job your character does? He clicks through all the options and reads all the summaries just in case, but he knows what he is going to pick from the start. What else could a true gentleman pick but a warrior? Even though he’s been single for years at this point Zen still considers himself a warrior of love.

For his character’s name he tries to pick Zen, but unfortunately the game notifies him that name is already taken. He tries Beautiful Zen next, but that’s taken too. “Are you serious?” Zen says, surprised, “Maybe I’ll run into a fan or two playing this…” Lastly he tries Lovely Zen. Third time’s a charm: it’s accepted.

Then it tells him to pick a server. Zen doesn’t understand what the importance of that choice is so he just picks one at random. The game then dumps his character into the game world and Zen’s bombarded with pop-up windows filled with blocks and blocks of text trying to explain things to him.

“This is supposed to be fun?” Zen mumbles.

 

* * *

 

Yoosung logs on to LOLOL with the cold remains of a pizza on the plate in his lap. Have they been in the fridge for days? Yes. Have they possibly been in the fridge for longer than recommended? Yes. Is Yoosung going to eat them anyway? Absolutely. Yoosung checks who’s online in his guild and on his friends list with one hand while he shoves a slice of pizza in his mouth with the other. See? When it’s cold like this you almost can’t tell how stale it is.

He shoots a couple messages off to some buddies but the people he’s going to be raiding with aren’t online yet. Not surprising: his night class got cancelled so he got back earlier than usual. Yoosung runs his character around in circles while he munches on his pizza and thinks. There are a couple dailies he could do but he doesn’t really feel like it. He’s already done all the new story quests in the current expansion and the next one isn’t due for release yet so that’s a bust. There aren’t any events running right now either. Well, Yoosung shoves the last bite of that slice in his mouth with a grin, that leaves just one thing.

Yoosung summons his mount and flies off to a small corner of another in-game continent and heads into the town there. This is where all the new players end up after they’ve completed the tutorial quests. The noob-town, basically. Besides the occasional high-level looking to help or con someone it’s all characters with generic features and beginner’s armor here, a sea of same-y looking faces.

Except, well...huh. There’s some elf wandering around in their starter rags. You’re definitely supposed to get your first armor set during the tutorial so…? Maybe they sold it? That’s kinda dumb though. Wait, wha—they just dropped their weapon on the floor? They definitely need _that_. Oh man no now they’re walking away, what no come on please don’t leave it there, oh my god, Yoosung can’t continue to watch this in good conscience.

Yoosung rushes over, puts the sword in his inventory, and runs to the elf who’s stopped in front of the armor-smith npc. Maybe...they actually _do_ know what they’re doing? Yoosung hangs back in uncertainty. Maybe some nice person gave them some gold, and they just dumped all their gear and went to get new stuff. But then not even a minute later the elf turns and leaves the npc, still wearing their rags. What the hell?

Maybe he should just ask and get it over with.

[PM] Super Yoosung: Hey, I saw you drop your sword back there and I was wondering if that was on purpose or not??

...they’re not responding. What, are they afk now? Yoosung’ll give them a minute or two and if they still doesn’t respond maybe he’ll just leave the sword there and—wait no, now they’re kind of jittering, oop, no now they’re still again. What…?

Lovely Zen: io;j

Lovely Zen: ou found my sword?

O.M.G. this person doesn’t even know how to use the chat. That’s rare in this day and age; it’s been awhile since Yoosung’s had to explain things this basic.

[PM] Super Yoosung: lololol you’re talking in the server chat which everyone can see

[PM] Super Yoosung: if you wanna pm me back click on the PM tab and then my name or type /pm Super Yoosung before your message in any other chat

Lovely Zen: p/m Super Yoosung ok

[PM] Lovely Zen: Oh whoops I mean ok

[PM] Lovely Zen: What does PM mean?

Oh wow. Wow wow wow, that’s so adorable, wow. Yoosung has to giggle a little bit and almost dumps the remaining slice of pizza off his lap and onto the floor. This is either this person’s first mmo ever or they’re in their sixties or something. They _did_ pick white hair so…

[PM] Super Yoosung: Private message LOL

[PM] Super Yoosung: And this conversation will be a lot easier if you click that PM tab and double-click my name! It’ll bring up its own window so you don’t have to keep typing that /pm stuff each time

[PM] Lovely Zen: Oh, yeah this is a lot better

[PM] Lovely Zen: Thank you

[PM] Super Yoosung: No problem! So do you want your sword back or?

[PM] Lovely Zen: Yes please. I was just looking through the menus and I lost it somehow

[PM] Super Yoosung: lololol you must have accidentally dragged the sword outside of the menu box

[PM] Super Yoosung: That’s one of the ways you can toss items out of your inventory

[PM] Super Yoosung: Is that how you lost your armor too?

[PM] Lovely Zen: I don’t know.

[PM] Lovely Zen: Someone else stopped in front of me and a pop-up appeared. I just clicked buttons until it went away and then my new outfit was gone?

Yoosung inhales deeply and then exhales. Firstly, what a jerk to steal a helpless person’s first armor set! It’s barely even worth anything on re-sell! Literally the only reason to do that is to fuck with the new people. If he ever catches someone doing that in front of him Yoosung is going to DESTROY THEM. Secondly, Yoosung has...a lot of ground to cover with this guy, doesn’t he.

[PM] Super Yoosung: Hey, how about I show you the ropes for a little bit?

[PM] Super Yoosung: I’ve got a couple hours free

[PM] Lovely Zen: Really?

[PM] Lovely Zen: That would be very helpful, thank you

[PM] Lovely Zen: You can probably tell that I have no idea what I’m doing lolol

Seriously, so cute. That ‘lolol’ makes it a little more likely that they’re not an extremely old person either. Not that it matters.

[PM] Super Yoosung: Don’t worry, I’ll get you up to speed!

And for the next two hours, Yoosung tries really, really hard to do that with, putting it delicately, mild success. Lovely Zen is just _awful_ at LOLOL. Nothing seems to stick and Yoosung has never seen a person screw themselves over on accident so well and so often. Not to mention they’re just slow. Everything takes them a long time, even moving from place to place, like they still haven’t quite figured out how to move the character properly which is...mindblowing to say the least. He can’t help but ask them about it.

[PM] Lovely Zen: Yeah I don’t think the wi-fi is very good here, but it could be a problem with my laptop too.

[PM] Super Yoosung: You’re playing on a TRACKPAD????

[PM] Lovely Zen: Yes? 

Well no wonder. A newbie with a bad internet connection playing on a trackpad. It almost feels like the set-up of a bad nerd joke.

Through patience—lots of patience—and sheer persistence Yoosung manages to: get Lovely Zen past the earliest quests, deck Lovely Zen out in the best gear possible for their current level, and leave them with a good set of potions and such. Yoosung has a feeling they’ll need them. He’s also tried to impart them with the basic skills necessary to survive out in the wild but he’s not confident that they retained any of them. At least they can move around better now. That’s something.

[PM] Super Yoosung: So how’s that?

[PM] Super Yoosung: Feeling a little more confident now?

[PM] Lovely Zen: Definitely more than before

[PM] Lovely Zen: Thank you so much, Yoosung

[PM] Lovely Zen: I would have been completely lost without you;;;

Yoosung can’t help but smile. That warm, fuzzy feeling right there? That’s what he does this for. Helping people out is the best. Being able to help people is the best.

[PM] Super Yoosung: Good!

[PM] Super Yoosung: I’ve gotta go for now, my friends are waiting for me to start the raid, but if you ever have any more questions feel free to message me!

[PM] Lovely Zen: I will, thanks ;)

Then Yoosung summons his mount and leaves. He always lets them know that they’re free to contact him but they almost never do. It’s a bit of a shame; it would be cool to know how people are doing after he’s helped them but he guesses it’s a good thing they don’t. That just means they’ve figured stuff out, right? Which means he taught them well. But still...

When he gets back to the meeting point his guildmate friends swarm him. Oh man, he didn’t mean to be late. Well it’s only five minutes late but still. He apologizes profusely and gives them all a cliffnotes version of what he’d been up to.

[GUILD] Typhoon: How annoying

[GUILD] Typhoon: I woulda just turned em out on their ass lololol

[GUILD] Typhoon: If they can’t even handle their own inventory why are they here

[GUILD] Superman Yoosung: They were really nice! And everyone starts somewhere don’t they?

[GUILD] BigTime99: Yea, yea, we all kno ur a bleeding heart lolololol

[GUILD] Superman Yoosung: What’s wrong with that??

[GUILD] Black Talon: okay okay

[GUILD] Black Talon: settle down superhero…..

Yoosung makes his character strike a pose.

[GUILD] Superman Yoosung: That’s me!!!

After that the conversation turns toward the dungeon they’re going to tackle and Yoosung shakes off his thoughts about Lovely Zen. It’s not like they’re going to talk again. Even if they get confused there are a ton of other friendly people around to ask for help from.

They’ll be fine.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> plays the saddest violin
> 
> why. why did this chapter want to be Long. why.

Zen gets back from yet another aggravating round of filming a couple days later with a cigarette already in his hand. He doesn’t remember how it got there which means the action was so automatic his brain didn’t even bother registering it. He sighs and tucks it back into the carton. Cutting back, cutting back. So easy to say the words, so hard to follow through when your body’s already halfway to lighting one up.

Normally he’d be collapsing with exhaustion in bed by now seeing as filming ran overtime today, but there’s a buzz in his blood keeping him awake. It’s an irritation he’d rather sweat out at the gym but it’s way past their closing time right now. Zen paces in a tight circle. He misses the days before the crash, when he thought he was invincible and could take joyrides on his motorcycle without repercussions no matter the state of his mind or body or even the road, but he doesn’t have the luxury of that kind of ignorance anymore. He’s grown up. Or he’s trying to, anyway.

He eyes his laptop. He can’t say the game Saeyoung sent him was _enjoyable_ —there were too many things to remember and the game kept sputtering because of his bad connection—but at the very least it kept his mind off things. And at this time of night that’s the thing he needs most.

He boots it up.

 

* * *

 

Yoosung’s in the middle of a raid when the message comes, but he’s too busy trying to draw enemy fire towards him to check it right away. This event dungeon is open just for today and it gives really rare material drops so he and his friends have been farming it for the past five hours, trying to milk the most out of it while it’s there so they can all craft the legendary weapons they haven’t managed to get their hands on yet. The stats are about on par with what Yoosung has already but, oh man, the designs are just _so cool._

Once the last monster in the area falls he takes a quick moment to breathe and sneak a look and nearly knocks the water glass on his desk over in surprise at what he finds.

[PM] Lovely Zen: Hey you said I could come to you if I had more questions, right?

[PM] Lovely Zen: I have to admit I’m a little lost;;;

[PM] Super Yoosung: Yeah, of course!!

[PM] Lovely Zen: I’m not really sure how to start explaining…

 

[GUILD] Typhoon: Hey Super Airhead Yoosung, we’re going to the next area!

[GUILD] Super Yoosung: Sorry lololol

[GUILD] Super Yoosung: I’ll be right there!

 

[PM] Super Yoosung: Hey, do you mind giving me 10 minutes?

[PM] Super Yoosung: I just have to wrap something up really quick!!!

[PM] Super Yoosung: You’ll have my all my attention after, I promise

[PM] Lovely Zen: uM

Yoosung tries to wait but he has to wrap this up.  His teammates are growing impatient.

[PM] Super Yoosung: ?

[PM] Lovely Zen: It’s nothing haha;;;

[PM] Lovely Zen: I’ll be waiting ;)

Yoosung closes out the private messaging window and hurries to rejoin his comrades, flustered. He’s noticed this before, and now he’s realizing it again: Lovely Zen’s pretty flirty...and Yoosung’s so bad at dealing with these types. He knows it’s just friendliness—a lot of people are flirtier online than in real life—but he can’t help but be the tiniest bit affected by it anyway. He doesn’t know if that’s loneliness talking or just his being weak to romance, but it’s so embarrassing...

[GUILD] BigTime99: tf are u doin get out there and tank we dont have all day lolol

[GUILD] BigTime99: u gotta start it for us so we can finish it

It’s a good thing none of his guildmates are like that.

[GUILD] Super Yoosung: Sorry guys, just had to answer someone;;

[GUILD] Typhoon: Oh my god can we just go already you chatty fucks

[GUILD] Typhoon: At this rate the boss will die of old age

Yoosung obliges mostly to make Typhoon happy. His heart’s not quite in it anymore. It’s the first time anyone’s actually seriously taken him up on the whole ‘always open for questions’ thing, and he’s itching with curiosity. He fires off his skills and attacks by rote, his mind miles away. Lovely Zen really sounded like they were having trouble...not that Yoosung’s _surprised_ by that considering last time, but still. Usually people either pick it up fast or stop playing so he can’t help but be a little intrigued that they’re still hanging around.

He stumbles through the entire dungeon on autopilot, makes his excuses, and runs off, ignoring his teammates when they try to rib him for being a softie. He summons his ride and hops on, private messaging window already open.

[PM] Super Yoosung: Okay I’m on my way now

[PM] Super Yoosung: Are you still around the places we were last time or have you moved on to the next area yet?

[PM] Lovely Zen: Um, I’m not really sure;;;

[PM] Super Yoosung: N-not sure?! What do you mean you’re not sure?!

[PM] Lovely Zen: I’ve never seen this place before and everything is blue-tinted??

[PM] Lovely Zen: There are graves too it’s creepy...

[PM] Lovely Zen: Is this normal or is something wrong with my game?

Oh no. Yoosung’s stomach sinks. Lovely Zen’s character is definitely dead. Oh no oh no, and if they’ve been dead since they messaged him then—Yoosung grinds the heel of his palm into his forehead. Stupid, stupid, he should have asked Lovely Zen what the problem was instead of assuming everything could be straightened out later.

[PM] Lovely Zen: ...Super Yoosung?

[PM] Super Yoosung: Sorry I was just thinking;;;

[PM] Super Yoosung: How long have you been there?

[PM] Lovely Zen: I don’t know...

[PM] Lovely Zen: It’s been a while.

[PM] Super Yoosung: Well...you’re dead

[PM] Lovely Zen: What?!!

[PM] Super Yoosung: And if you don’t find your body soon looters will take your stuff

[PM] Lovely Zen: ....

[PM] Super Yoosung: Do you know where you died? 

[PM] Lovely Zen: Yeah they told me to go to the next town so I was walking there

[PM] Lovely Zen: And another player on a flaming horse started attacking me

[PM] Lovely Zen: Are they allowed to do that??

Aaaaand Yoosung forgot to explain PvP to them last time. Yoosung drops his head in his hands, his character stopping to hover in mid-air on his mount. Maybe people never asked him more questions because Yoosung isn’t actually that helpful. Yoosung rubs vigorously at his face and grabs the mouse again. It’s just that there are so many things he’s used to knowing that he takes for granted; it’s hard to remember that not all of it is common knowledge! How is he supposed to know that Lovely Zen could float transparently in a graveyard and not get the hint that they’re dead??

[PM] Super Yoosung: Yeah, once you’re out of the beginner zone you can fight other players

[PM] Super Yoosung: I’m so sorry I forgot to warn you!! T_T

Yoosung sees the line of trees that marks the beginning of the forest and jumps off his mount, running towards the eastern edge where he knows the closest graveyard to town is. When he finds it he dashes to the middle in between the spread of gravestones and half-dying grass and stays there.

[PM] Super Yoosung: Hey, can you see me?

[PM] Lovely Zen: Yeah dude you’re right next to me

[PM] Lovely Zen: You can’t see me?

Dude…? What kind of people say dude? Definitely not any of the old people Yoosung knows. His mental image of Lovely Zen is now wavering between an energetic, sporty person or...a flirty bro? Yoosung shakes his head.

[PM] Super Yoosung: Well no you’re dead remember?

[PM] Super Yoosung: Player characters can’t see or interact with you

[PM] Super Yoosung: Well...not unless they’re necromancers but you don’t have to worry about that right now

[PM] Super Yoosung: Here, just follow me. You were ambushed somewhere on the road right? 

Yoosung starts strolling his character back through the woods, making sure to be extra slow so Lovely Zen can keep up, pinging them every once in awhile through the messages just to make sure he hasn’t lost them. When they both make it to the road Yoosung asks where the body would be but Lovely Zen doesn’t remember. Yoosung squares his shoulders. Well, time to do things the hard way then. They begin combing the area.

 

* * *

 

Zen sighs. This is less like playing a game and more like trying to find a lost set of keys. This would be so much more interesting if Super Yoosung would talk as they searched, but he’s been quiet for the past few minutes, lost in focus. And it’s not like Zen can complain about it, being the one who got killed in the first place. He already feels bad enough making the guy go so far out of his way, even if he doesn’t seem put out by it. So much for being a warrior. Zen doesn’t _feel_ very powerful or warrior-like right now. If he hadn’t left his script in his bag he’d try looking over his lines for the next scene while he searches...

His phone rings. He answers it with one hand and tries to keep the laptop balanced on his knee and his character moving with the other. It...sort of works. He can only move forward but that’s all he needs at the moment. Zen leans back on his couch and opens his mouth to start his customary charismatic introduction but the person on the other line beats him to it.

“Hey, hey, hey~” Saeyoung sing-songs, “Just thought I’d check in on my favorite actor. How goes your quest??”

“My quest?” Zen looks at his see-through character floating in a straight line. Not very well.

“Of course, your quest! Beating the nicotine monster!!! A long and arduous journey, your greatest enemies: the siege on your willpower and your body itself!”

Oh yeah, that ‘quest.’

“Hmmm,” Zen muses, “I had a couple right after work before I got on the subway, but those were the only ones today.”

“Oooooh,” Saeyoung praises, “Very good, very good. Your journey is starting off strong.”

“This game’s been distracting,” Zen grudgingly admits, “But I still can’t believe you play this for fun. Does it get any better?”

“It’s exactly as fun as you make it out to be!” Saeyoung says. Zen can hear the click-clack of his keyboard through the phone line, “You’re on it right now right? Tell me what server you’re on so I can make things as ♥ fun ♥ as ♥ possible~!♥”

Zen rolls his eyes. It’s always a shock to know there’s a guy out there who can fry _Zen_ out on theatrics. “I don’t know...star something? Something with a star in it. Shooting Star?”

Saeyoung immediately launches into a coughing fit. “Hik-hck! HAHAha-hm??? S-shooting Star, huh?”

“...yes?”

“Lucky! I already have a character on that server!”

“How many servers do you have characters on?” Zen raises an eyebrow.

“Oh, well, let’s see...one, two, three, four, six, ten, twelve, all of them maybe?”

“And you play as all of them?!” Zen asks, boggled. He can barely manage the one.

“Mmm, yes and no…”

“I don’t think I want to know—ah! I found it!”  

“Found what?” Saeyoung asks.

“My corpse,” Zen answers, wedging his cellphone between his shoulder and his neck so he can use both hands to navigate over there.

“Haha! Your what???” Saeyoung cackles, “Y-y-you died already?? What, you just stepped outside the kiddie zone and died instantly?”

“...”

“O.M.G.”

“Stop laughing and help me,” Zen grumbles, “What am I supposed to do with this?”

“Just go up there, press the button the prompt tells you, and you’ll resurrect.” Saeyoung fumbles around with the phone and Zen hears the thunk of him setting it down somewhere, “Just put you on speaker. I’ll be joining you soon~!”

Zen does as he’s told and his ghost-self disappears, his character’s body hovering and glowing with an unearthly light before it abruptly vanishes and he’s left in control of his normal character again. He looks around but doesn’t see anyone else in eyesight.

“I should tell Super Yoosung I found it,” Zen muses aloud.

Saeyoung wheezes.

“...are you okay?” Zen asks.

“Ab. So. Lutely!!!” Saeyoung chirps, “Just surprised you made a friend so quickly; what are the chances?”

“I’ve never had a problem making friends,” Zen says, offended, “Everyone thinks I’m charming.”

Saeyoung hums doubtfully. “But what about in a universe where no one can see your charming face?”

“Shut up.” No. No, no, no. Zen is charming all the time and under all conditions, both inside and out, and Zen is not pursuing that train of thought any further whatsoever.

Zen redirects his focus to the private messaging window and is about to call for Super Yoosung’s attention when he spots another player cresting a nearby hill, running towards him full-tilt. As the other guy approaches Zen sees a familiar helm on him and simultaneously realizes the suspicious lack of a helm on his own character’s head. The other guy stops in front of him, and the dots connect.

Lovely Zen: Hey!!! You stole my helmet!

p_on_urnuts: u were dead for 10 mins thats how it wurks n00b

p_on_urnuts: **** i didnt think ud res b4 i cud get back

p_on_urnuts: i shoulda ****in dropped more $$$ on inv space

p_on_urnuts: o well guess i cn kill u and wait around sum more if i hav to

The other guy brandishes a short sword in each hand and Zen scrambles to type something in the private messaging window. He hits enter on accident just before the dueling invite pops up on-screen.

“Zennnnn, hey Zen, why so quiet over there?” Saeyoung prods.

“I think I might die twice,” Zen says, “Wait, it says I can say no though…”

“Is someone trying to duel you?!” Saeyoung gasps, “How exciting~ You can refuse but they’ll still be able to kill you probably, with the way things are now… 

“Wait, what?" 

“With dueling there are some rules, no one’s able to interfere, and the winner can get the loser’s stuff right away; but players can still kill people without it. The person who starts attacking just suffers a negative damage and defense modifier and can’t loot you immediately.”

“So what do I do??” Zen shifts his shoulder a little bit, trying to keep the phone from pressing against his cheek so hard.

p_on_urnuts: look just acept it ok if u do i promise to leave u sum stuf

p_on_urnuts: if u dont all ur **** is mine

“Hahahaha, I don’t think you can win no matter what if you play as badly as I think you do,” Saeyoung says, ignoring Zen’s ‘hey!’ at the slight, “I wish I could help but I’m still taking care of something and I’m too far away anyway. Maybe if you refuse you can run?”

“...”

“It’s either that or death, Zen, choose one~♥”

Zen _really_ doesn’t want to search for his body all over again. 

“Fine, fine.” Zen sighs, hovering over the ‘no’ button. He clicks it.

p_on_urnuts: you ****in biptch

Zen runs.

 

* * *

 

Yoosung doesn’t think about not having checked in with Lovely Zen in a long while until the message comes in, and when he does the realization kicks him hard in the gut. His first thought is that they might have gotten lost, and he lunges to open the message so fast his chair shakes.

[PM] Lovely Zen: hELp i think somrone’s after m

Oh god oh god oh no they’re in trouble. Adrenaline kicks in. Which way did Lovely Zen head off to last? Fuck, if only Yoosung had classed as a necromancer he would have seen it. There’s definitely no time to test every direction. How can he be this bad at helping someone??? But, wait, if they’re in danger than they had to have found their body, right? Yoosung quickly switches out his boots for The Sandals of Hermes and jumps, soaring much, much higher than normal. There! He can see someone being chased in the distance, that must be them. Thank god they’re not dead yet.

When he lands he sprints as fast as he can go.

 

* * *

 

Zen can feel the distance closing almost instantly and it occurs to him that he’s just as bad at running in this game as he is at everything else. Why the fuck does he ever listen to Saeyoung? He sees p_on_urnuts materialize near the edge of the screen and curses as one of the swords clips him, chopping a fifth of his health bar off in one blow. Isn’t this dude supposed to be weaker outside of a duel?? Shit, he’s definitely going to die. Maybe he should just give up and accept his fate. God knows he was never going to be good at this dumb game anyway.

Just as he takes his fingers off the keys and slows to a halt a great blur dashes across the screen and rams straight into p_on_urnuts, flinging the guy out of sight. Zen readjusts the camera to see the dude lying prone on the ground a couple yards away. When he looks back he sees Super Yoosung, with winged sandals on his feet and a giant shield held in front of him with one hand, a sword in the other. 

[PM] Super Yoosung: imaed ti

[PM] Lovely Zen: What?

[PM] Super Yoosung: I made it;;;

[PM] Super Yoosung: I’m so glad I made it in time, O.M.G. that was close

 

p_on_urnuts: wtf y r u friends with super yoosung

p_on_urnuts: **** this

p_on_urnuts: this is such bs im out of here

The guy gets up and starts running. Zen’s kind of disappointed he’s escaping, but mostly he’s just happy to be rid of him.

[PM] Lovely Zen: Thanks for bailing me out I seriously thought I was doomed;;

[PM] Lovely Zen: Too bad he’s getting away

[PM] Super Yoosung: No he isn’t

Zen’s about to ask what he means when Super Yoosung dashes again, off like lightning. He disappears past the nearby hills and in the next instant a purple-red column of light erupts into the sky. A few seconds later he’s back. Zen’s speechless.

[PM] Super Yoosung: He probably won’t learn anything from that but I have to try anyway lololol

[PM] Lovely Zen: Wow;;;;

[PM] Lovely Zen: Is it weird that I know it’s virtual and I’m still a little impressed?

[PM] Super Yoosung: Hahaha this is nothing ////

[PM] Super Yoosung: I’m just glad I could keep you alive this time

[PM] Lovely Zen: Keep me alive…

[PM] Super Yoosung: Sorry lololololol

[PM] Super Yoosung: Here, come on, let’s go back to town and get you geared up again

[PM] Super Yoosung: You leveled up a little so we can get you better stuff anyway!

Zen offers a couple token protests but Super Yoosung cheerily shoots them all down and leads him back into town.

 

* * *

 

Yoosung combs through both the armor and weapon smiths finding the perfect replacements for the items Lovely Zen lost and ultimately just ends up buying a whole new set for them. It’s partially out of a sense of guilt, and partially, well. He really, really wants to be friends with them. And it’s not like he’s trying to buy their friendship or anything! He just...wants to get them nice things.

[PM] Lovely Zen: Are you really sure I can have all this?

[PM] Lovely Zen: I feel a little bad…

[PM] Super Yoosung: Don’t worry about it!

[PM] Super Yoosung: This beginner’s stuff doesn’t cost much anyway

After Zen goes through and switches everything out Yoosung admires his handiwork. Helms look really weird on Lovely Zen’s elf-y, willowy character but you have to makes sacrifices sometimes in the name of stats…

[PM] Lovely Zen: Hey, I should go soon and get some sleep for work tomorrow

[PM] Lovely Zen: But I was wondering if I could ask your name before I go?

[PM] Lovely Zen: Or at least a nickname;;;

[PM] Super Yoosung: Oh! Yeah, just call me Yoosung.

[PM] Lovely Zen: You really go by Yoosung? Cute.

[PM] Lovely Zen: You can go ahead and call me Zen

Cute. It’s kind of amazing that someone can call him cute while playing the buff, square-jawed kind of character Yoosung choses to play.

[PM] Super Yoosung: You mean like Zen the actor right?

[PM] Super Yoosung: I keep hearing about him recently, he suddenly got really popular;;;

[PM] Super Yoosung: You must be a big fan

[PM] Lovely Zen: that perfect face, those eyes, the dedication...

[PM] Lovely Zen: I guess you could say I admire him ;)

[PM] Super Yoosung: Oh wow, you’ve got it so bad for him i’m blushing lololol

[PM] Lovely Zen: wHAT NO!!

[PM] Lovely Zen: that’s not waht i menea;;;

[PM] Lovely Zen: not what i mean!!1

So...are they embarrassed or in denial? Yoosung laughs to himself, charmed. He’ll have to try and tease them again about that later.

[PM] Super Yoosung: lolololol if you say so...

[PM] Super Yoosung: Anyway here, let me friend you.

[PM] Lovely Zen: Friend me? 

[PM] Super Yoosung: Yeah it’ll let me see your location on the map and I’ll be able to see when you’re online

[PM] Super Yoosung: And you’ll be able to see the same for me!

[PM] Super Yoosung: Although really you should probably switch servers;;;

[PM] Super Yoosung: You’d have an easier time on one that isn’t PvP

[PM] Lovely Zen: PvP??

[PM] Super Yoosung: Player vs player

[PM] Super Yoosung: It means everyone can fight each other

[PM] Super Yoosung: There are servers where players can’t do that

[PM] Super Yoosung: Honestly a lot of people jumped ship to non-PvP servers recently because when they added the new PvP mechanics last patch they kinda broke the whole system

[PM] Super Yoosung: Which is why people like that awful p_whatever could corner people like you 

[PM] Lovely Zen: Ah, I see

[PM] Lovely Zen: I don’t really want to switch though...

[PM] Super Yoosung: What, why not?

[PM] Lovely Zen: Well you wouldn’t be there

[PM] Lovely Zen: Right?

There’s no winky face this time, but it hits twice as hard as any flirty comment Zen’s ever made. He’s legitimately touched.

[PM] Super Yoosung: Yaeh

[PM] Super Yoosung: I mean yeah

[PM] Lovely Zen: Then I’ll just stay here ;)

[PM] Super Yoosung: If you’re sure;;;

Yoosung sends Zen the friend invite, wishes them goodnight, and logs off himself after bidding his online guildmates goodbye.

 

* * *

 

Zen closes his laptop and tosses it to the other side of the couch. He can’t believe he just wasted so many hours on there; it’s way past the time he should have gone to bed and he still needs to go through his skincare routine. He better not look groggy when he shows up for filming tomorrow.

But on the bright side he doesn’t feel like he’s buzzing out of his skin anymore. And he’d been too busy and too absorbed to feel like smoking. He’ll have to thank Saeyoung later. And, uh, also apologize for hanging up on him on accident...He checks his phone. Three missed calls, five texts, all from Saeyoung.

Whoops.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, hit me up at @rixsig_writes on twitter if you wanna o/


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wHOOPSIE DAISY i have neglected this poor child of mine
> 
> but what about that new v route huh?? technologically incompetent zen is SO REAL and i am SO ALIVE

It becomes a routine. On late nights—which is almost all of them—Zen will come back from work and hop right on the computer with a plate of takeout balanced on one knee. Most of the time it works. Zen lets himself get shepherded around by Yoosung and for a while he forgets his stress and his cravings.

But sometimes…

“Wow you really weren’t kidding, you do suck at this game,” Saeyoung cackles.

“You already knew that, dude.”

“Yeah, but still? It’s been a month! I’m pretty sure the only reason you’re still alive at all is because your sugar daddy—”

“Ew, he’s _not_ my sugar daddy—”

“—escorts you around everywhere and dresses you up and—”

Zen groans and lets his head thunk back against the couch as he listens to Saeyoung alternate between making fun of him and guzzling soda over the speakerphone. Sometimes Yoosung’s busy. And that makes sense, the guy actually knows what he’s doing and he’s got friends, guildmates or whatever, that he spends time with online. It’s not like Zen expects the friendly stranger—Acquaintance? Friend?—to be waiting with baited breath for Zen’s every appearance.

But whenever Yoosung isn’t there Zen either runs around, bored and clueless on his own, or...this happens.

“Aren’t you supposed to be helping me,” Zen grouses.

“I can’t help you if you don’t help yourself~”

Which means Saeyoung wants him to actually _read_ those strategy articles he’d sent to Zen’s email. Yeah, no. No way in hell. No amount of speed-reading would save that from being a complete waste of time. Not that this dumb game isn’t a waste of time either, but at least it’s not so bad when Zen doesn’t let himself get mired down in things like _numbers_ and weird terms like _AOE damage._

“Or,” Saeyoung says, making his very pretty female cleric character do a spin, “take this!”

A pop up shows on Zen’s screen. More equipment? Zen hits accept and squints at it. Just looks like a normal helm to him. “How this any better than the one I’ve already got?”

“You doubt me?!” Saeyoung feigns shock. “Babe, I have access to things most players could only _dream_ of.”

“...why are you making this sound illegal? Is this illegal?”

Saeyoung doesn’t confirm or deny that which only raises Zen’s suspicions to even greater heights. Can something be illegal in a video game? He takes a closer look at the thing’s stats. It still doesn’t look like anything out of the ordinary, at least to Zen’s untrained eye.

“What’s taking so long, spoilsport?” Saeyoung sing-songs, and Zen can hear him rustle through a chip bag. “Look, if you really don’t want it then just give it back. I’ll find someone else to appreciate it.”

Zen should definitely give it back. Absolutely.

He ends up putting it on instead.

“W-What the hell?!” Zen shrieks, watching in shock as the helm, along with his character’s entire head, disappears, a donkey’s head taking its place. “What did you do?!” Zen frantically tries to remove the helm from the equipment slot, but it doesn’t budge no matter how many times he clicks on it. “Why can’t I take it off?!”

“Because that would ruin the fun, silly~♥”

Zen growls in frustration and makes his now donkey-headed character take a swing at Saeyoung’s. Saeyoung has no trouble rolling out of the way and making a break for it, throwing taunting gestures back the whole time. Zen gives chase as best as he can, but he’s as bad at running in the game as he’s always been, trailing behind further and further until Saeyoung has to pause here and there, snickering, to let him catch up.

God, Zen could use a smoke.

 

* * *

 

[GUILD] Super Yoosung: Okay guys just one more run and then I’m out

[GUILD] BigTime99: Whats the rush

[GUILD] BigTime99: Goin back 2 ur trophy wife? Lololol

[GUILD] Super Yoosung: ...

[GUILD] BigTime99: That hot elf bod seducin u away from ur friends?

[GUILD] BigTime99: Tht anime grl clumsiness wen they drop half thier shit on the ground on accident heatin u up?

[GUILD] BigTime99: O Supr Yoosung help me ive tripped nd i cant get up!

[GUILD] Super Yoosung: ………

[GUILD] BigTime99: Come onnnnn broooooo dont b like that

[GUILD] Super Yoosung: This stopped being funny after like the 14th time……...

[GUILD] Typhoon: Dunno why else you’d keep going back when they’re so shit at this game though right? lol

[GUILD] BigTime99: Yea thyre never goin to get gud, srry

[GUILD] Super Yoosung: Stop making fun of them!

[GUILD] BigTime99: OOOOOOO

[GUILD] Typhoon: Lololololol

[GUILD] Black Talon: oh to be young and in love...

[GUILD] Super Yoosung: I DIND”T SAY TO MAEK FUN OF ME INSTEAD;;;;

 

Yoosung pushes back from his desk, flustered. He’s just gonna...let them all work that out of their systems. Again. He gets up and fills himself a glass of water, gulping it down. It isn’t that weird that Yoosung wants to be friends with this person, right? Yeah sure, they suck, but they’re fun to be around, and it’s kind of fun to step in and save them. And yeah, okay, maybe the way they fumble with everything _is_ a little cute. Why is it such breaking news that Yoosung finds someone a little cute?

 

[GUILD] BigTime99: Oops did he go afk

[GUILD] BigTime99: Yoooooosuuuuuuuuuuunggg

[GUILD] Black Talon: he really does seem attached to this person

[GUILD] Black Talon: they’re not real life friends right?

[GUILD] Typhoon: Nah, just some rando he helped out. You know how he is

[GUILD] Black Talon: hmm...i hope they’re not trying to take advantage of him…

Yoosung’s hands are flying over the keys before he can think to stop himself.

[GUILD] Super Yoosung: They wouldn’t do that!

[GUILD] Black Talon: how would you know?

[GUILD] Super Yoosung: They...they just wouldn’t! What would they even want anyway? They don’t even know how the game works;;

[GUILD] Typhoon: Could be faking it

[GUILD] BigTime99: O man thats som strait up heist shit rite there lolol

[GUILD] BigTime99: Goin undercover actin all sweet an then BAM

[GUILD] BigTime99: They got all ur stuff an ur fucked

[GUILD] Super Yoosung: There’s no way something like that would happen;;;

[GUILD] Super Yoosung: ...right?

[GUILD] Typhoon: Lot of effort to go through putting up with you for months just for some gear lol

[GUILD] Super Yoosung: Hey!!

[GUILD] BigTime99: Som wicked cool gear tho

[GUILD] Black Talon: you are pretty famous, yoosung

[GUILD] BigTime99: HOLYSHIPT wat you think some1’s got a grudge???

[GUILD] BigTime99: lik some other high lvl player makin a throwaway accnt to mess with him??

[GUILD] Black Talon: i don’t know. but i wouldn’t rule it out

[GUILD] Black Talon: just be cautious

[GUILD] Black Talon: how much do you even know about this person?

 

Hardly anything, Yoosung realizes. He doesn’t know their real name, their gender, how old they are, if they’re a student too or what job they have if they’re not...They’ve both always been occupied with all the in-game stuff. And Zen always hops off after just a couple hours, and Yoosung’s never brought it up, and...so…

Yoosung sighs and pillows his head on his arms, tilting his head sideways to watch the chat scroll with increasingly bizarre theories on Lovely Zen. They’re being overprotective, probably. The only person Yoosung can think of that might have a vendetta against him is GODSE7EN and, admittedly, that rivalry is held up mostly on Yoosung’s end.

Yoosung sighs again. Yeah, he should really try and—

 

[PM] Lovely Zen: Um

[PM] Lovely Zen: I know you’re busy but;;

Yoosung jolts up.

[PM] Super Yoosung: What’s wrong?

[PM] Lovely Zen: I don’t really know how to explain it...this helm won’t come off?

[PM] Super Yoosung: And you tried dragging it off?

[PM] Lovely Zen: Yeah, I know that much... -_-

[PM] Super Yoosung: Lolololol sorry, I just had to check

[PM] Lovely Zen: I can wait if you’re in the middle of something

 

Yoosung checks the guild chat again.

 

[GUILD] Super Yoosung: Hey, uh...I’m going to head out now actually

[GUILD] BigTime99: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaht

[GUILD] Super Yoosung: Sorry, sorry, something came up;;;

[GUILD] Super Yoosung: I’ll make it up to you guys next time, promise

[GUILD] Typhoon: Dude whatever just go fuck off and make kissy faces at your trophy wife, we’ll be fine

 

Yoosung takes a deep breath and chooses to take that as approval. He fires off a quick goodbye and then jets over to the dot on the minimap that tells him where Lovely Zen is, a wide, grassy plain just outside the first hub city. For a while he just circles in the air above, confused. Where are they? There’s no flash of silvery hair, just this…this…this donkey…person…

_Oh my god._

Yoosung fumbles to dismount and drops to the ground, running up to them. Sure enough, the words Lovely Zen float above their avatar.

 

[PM] Lovely Zen: Yoosung! You came!

[PM] Lovely Zen: Thank god, people are kind of staring and not in the way that I like haha…;;;

 

Yoosung pales. He _knows this_. Yoosung knows this donkey head, because Yoosung has _been_ this donkey head before.

 

[PM] Super Yoosung: Where...where did you say you got that helm again?

[PM] Lovely Zen: Hm? Oh, a friend gave it to me... -_-

 

Yoosung knows this donkey head because got one as a gift. And then he put it on. And then he was stuck as a donkey the _whole day_ through the Bloodthorne Tournament last year. And he knows, knows for a fact no matter what anybody else tells him, that it was from GODSE7EN. Maybe no one could trace it back to him, maybe Yoosung’s reports were dismissed because they couldn’t find any evidence, but Yoosung knows in his _soul_ that he’s right. GODSE7EN was _taunting_ him.

 

[PM] Lovely Zen: ...Yoosung?

 

GODSE7EN is _still_ taunting him.

Is Zen some sort of SE7EN groupie? An unsuspecting bystander caught in the crossfire? ....SE7EN himself in disguise?!  Yoosung’s mind is swarming with half-baked theories. Suddenly Bigtime’s jokes don’t seem so far off from the mark. Yoosung doesn’t know Lovely Zen at all. For all he knows they’ve been pretending this whole time and they’re just one step in some super elaborate prank and Yoosung is so, so tired of falling for those! Every! Single! Time!!

 

[PM] Lovely Zen: Hey, dude, are you okay?

[PM] Super Yoosung: Fine

[PM] Super Yoosung: So who’s this friend

[PM] Super Yoosung: I didn’t know you had friends here already

[PM] Lovely Zen: Oh…?

[PM] Lovely Zen: He’s the one who got me to try it lol

[PM] Lovely Zen: I really needed something to distract me

[PM] Lovely Zen: I didn’t think it would work, but I’m still here so...lolololol

 

Yoosung relaxes a little despite himself. That sounds pretty real, right? But he squares his shoulders again and bites his lip. He can’t let his guard down yet. He’s going to sleuth this out. SE7EN isn’t going to get one over on him this time, not if he can help it.

 

[PM] Super Yoosung: So, um,  what’s your friend’s username? If you don’t mind me asking…

[PM] Lovely Zen: Miss_Vand3rwood. Why? Do you know him?

 

Something about that almost sounds familiar, but Yoosung can’t pin it down. Is it actually familiar or is he just imagining things? Ughhhh, he doesn’t know whether he’s more or less suspicious now than he was before.

 

[PM] Super Yoosung: No, I guess not...

[PM] Lovely Zen: Hey, are you sure you’re alright? You seem a little down. T_T

[PM] Super Yoosung: I’m fine!

[PM] Super Yoosung: Really.

[PM] Super Yoosung: I’m just overthinking I guess

[PM] Super Yoosung: I can do that sometimes

[PM] Lovely Zen: Hmmm. Really? That’s funny because it kind of looked like you were a little jealous ;)

[PM] Super Yoosung: hWhAT

[PM] Lovely Zen: I can’t blame you for wanting me all to yourself, but don’t worry you’re definitely my favorite lololol

[PM] Super Yoosung: adskjkasksSK STOp!!!!

[PM] Lovely Zen: Aw, but I like getting you all flustered lol

[PM] Super Yoosung: nonono no no i m-meen with the donkey head and you all winky and lololololol

[PM] Lovely Zen: What?! Hey! I can’t help that I’m not at my most beautiful right now! T_T

[PM] Lovely Zen: I’ve been cursed by a jealous witch T_T T_T T_T

[PM] Lovely Zen: And aren’t you supposed to be helping me?!

[PM] Super Yoosung: I can’t. I got caught by one of those things last year and all you can do is wait for it to wear off lol

[PM] Lovely Zen: ****

[PM] Super Yoosung: lolololol

 

Yoosung trips into a giggle spree again, wiping tears from his eyes. How is it that he feels better already? This is ridiculous! He’s supposed to be mad! He’s supposed to be looking for clues! Zen’s suspicious! But...he doesn’t want to suspect them. He really, really, really doesn’t.

 

[PM] Lovely Zen: You know...

[PM] Lovely Zen: I can tell you a bit about my friend if that’ll help?

[PM] Lovely Zen: Do you have a score or something to settle? 

[PM] Lovely Zen: He did this to me I don’t mind selling him out lol

[PM] Lovely Zen: He probably deserves what he’s getting anyway -_-

[PM] Super Yoosung: Lololol no, that’s fine

 

It’s probably a dead end anyway. Maybe SE7EN wanted to sow some chaos and let a few of those things loose on the server market, who knows. Yoosung’s seen him do crazier things before. Besides...

 

[PM] Super Yoosung: I think I want to learn more about you instead ^^

[PM] Lovely Zen: o

[PM] Lovely Zen: Oh really~

[PM] Lovely Zen: What about me? Lol

[PM] Super Yoosung: Anything! I mean, like...are you a guy or a girl or…?

[PM] Lovely Zen: Huh?! I’m a guy, isn’t that obvious???

[PM] Super Yoosung: Why would that be obvious?;;;;;

[PM] Lovely Zen: Well I mean...I chose the guy character…

[PM] Super Yoosung: Lolololololololololol omg really?

[PM] Super Yoosung: Lots of people just choose whatever they want

[PM] Super Yoosung: Didn’t you just say your guy friend goes by ‘Miss Vanderwood’ in this game? Does he have a girl avatar?

[PM] Lovely Zen: Oh.

[PM] Lovely Zen: Huh. I guess you’re right;;

[PM] Lovely Zen: I just thought he was being weird as always lol

[PM] Super Yoosung: …...

[PM] Lovely Zen: What T_T

[PM] Super Yoosung: ……...

[PM] Lovely Zen: You’d think he was weird too if he kept sending you selfies of him in maid dresses! No matter what I say he won’t stop sending them to me T_T

[PM] Super Yoosung: wHAT

 

Okay yeah, that definitely sounds like someone who would buy a magical hacked donkey helm from the market for a prank. Mystery solved. Probably.

 

[PM] Lovely Zen: Oh wait! Hey, so that means...So are you really a guy? 

[PM] Super Yoosung: Lolol yeah, I am 

[PM] Super Yoosung: Super beefy Super Yoosung to the rescue!

[PM] Super Yoosung: It’s easier to build muscle online than in real life T_T

[PM] Lovely Zen: Oh, I could give you some good pointers. I go to the gym pretty often

[PM] Super Yoosung: If only I was motivated enough to go to the gym…

[PM] Lovely Zen: I’d offer to drag you there with me if I could lol

 

That would be nice, someone to go with him and motivate him and tell him what to do and what he’s doing right or wrong. It’s always a little too intimidating to go by himself, and how’s he supposed to go someplace like that when there are quests and raids waiting to be done? He’ll just stay here and live out his muscle fantasies in LOLOL.

 

[PM] Super Yoosung: So where do you live?

 

OH GOD, he hadn’t meant to actually send that oh god oh god oh god.

 

[PM] Super Yoosung: N-not that! I mean! You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to! 

[PM] Lovely Zen: Oh? Thinking about going to the gym with me for real? Lol

[PM] Lovely Zen: I’m in Seoul. ^^

 

Yoosung jolts in shock, feeling almost floaty. It’s a big city, lots of people live here so it shouldn’t be that surprising, but still...if he really wanted to he could…

 

[PM] Super Yoosung: Me too!!!!

[PM] Lovely Zen: Woah! Guess we’re closer then we thought, huh ;)

[PM] Super Yoosung: Yeah lol...I guess we are.

 

They only chat for a little while more until Zen has to log off for the night and then Yoosung wanders aimlessly around the map, stuck in a daze. They both live in Seoul, they both live in Seoul. Should he have asked what part or would that have been too weird? Ughhhh, yeah he’s definitely being too weird about this. Yoosung logs off too and breathes into his hands. It doesn’t really change anything. It’s not like they’ll actually ever go the gym together it’s just that ‘wouldn’t that be nice’ talk that internet friends do all the time. Yoosung needs to calm down and stop taking it so seriously.

“Just go to sleep. You’ll be less weird in the morning.”

He tries, and he fails, and he’s still just as weird that morning as he was the night before.


	4. Chapter 4

OFFICIAL LOLOL FORUMS

    —In-game

        —Misc Discussion

 

Thread: Hey so who’s this dude

 

SupermanSuperstan

   I’m a huge fan of Super Yoosung and I’ve started to notice this weird guy hanging around him all the time recently.

   I’m not the only one right?

   I caught a screencap of him just in case

   Anyone else seen him running around or

   -img attch thisguy.jpg-

 

queefwizard420

   is there really someone this bored lololololol go outside

 

MademoiselleP

   As if you have room to speak. I never see you offline. Unfortunately.

   And change your username back, you heathen.

 

queefwizard420

   NEVER

   PLAY HARD FKUC HARD 420 BLAZE IT

 

queefwizard420

   aw **** did he ragequit already thats no fun

 

SupermanSuperstan

   Hey guys can you stay on topic? I just want to know if anyone knows who this dude is

 

SupermanSuperstan

   Bump

 

MademoiselleP

   Well. I’ve certainly never seen them before. Why is this a necessary question?

 

Kaylila

   um..,,. ive run into that player once.,.,,,

   they seemed nice..,,.

 

queefwizard420

   aaaaaayyyyy there you are mp my mannnnn

   just saw the guy btw nothing special?

   just seems like a dweeb lolol

 

MademoiselleP

   Change your username this instant or the moment I figure out how I’m banning you.

 

MV3rd

   *slinks into the thread with a photo in my mouth, curls up at ur feet*

   i think i have some evidence to give to the jury ;3c

   -image attch evidence.png-

 

SupermanSuperstan

   I don’t get it

   It’s so blurry what am I supposed to be looking at

 

MV3rd

   *enhance enhance enhance!*

   *dips my claw in pretty pink ink and draws a heart on it!*

   here you go~!

   -image attch betterevidence.png-

 

SupermanSuperstan

   ...what does Super Yoosung carrying Lovely Zen around have to do with my question…

 

Kaylila

   oh.,,but that is pretty cute tho..,,

 

SupermanSuperstan

   …

   Nevermind

   I give up

   Can a mod please lock this thread for me

 

* * *

 

 

[PM] Lovely Zen: So do you really need to keep carrying me around like this?

[PM] Lovely Zen: This is the third time;;;

[PM] Lovely Zen: It looks weird;;;

[PM] Super Yoosung: Like I said, we’re cutting through a high-level area

[PM] Super Yoosung: Do you WANT to aggro all the monsters?

 

Because from past experience Yoosung knows Zen would wander off for just five seconds and somehow manage it.

 

[PM] Lovely Zen: No?

[PM] Lovely Zen: Uh. What does aggro mean again? Lol

 

Yoosung snorts to himself. He swears all this stuff goes in one ear and out the other. And yeah, maybe they _could_ have gotten on Yoosung’s mount and just flown over this area instead, but maaaaaybe Yoosung likes to see Zen get flustered a little too for a change. It’s well-deserved payback for all those winky faces, right?

He sets a pin on his destination and lets his character run on auto-pilot so he can type more freely and explain all the basic mmo terminology for the nth time. He’s in the middle of describing the different zones and their recommended player levels in the map when someone else messages him.

 

[PM] Typhoon: You’re the topic of hot gossip again congrats

[PM] Super Yoosung: Is this about your creepy forum alert system?

[PM] Super Yoosung: I still think it’s weird that you track my name...

[PM] Typhoon: Shut up you know I have it set for all of us

[PM] Typhoon: It’s not my fault you have so many ****ing fanboys

[PM] Super Yoosung: Hmm…..

[PM] Typhoon: No

[PM] Super Yoosung: Hmmmmmmmm....

[PM] Typhoon: NO

[PM] Super Yoosung: Just admit it.

[PM] Super Yoosung: You think I’m cute~★

[PM] Typhoon:

[PM] Typhoon: You know what forget it you can find out when it bites you in the ass later

[PM] Super Yoosung: Noooooo, don’t leaveeeee T_T

[PM] Typhoon: Have fun princess carrying your trophy elf bye

[PM] Super Yoosung: No wait! Tell me I’m cute!!!!

[PM] Super Yoosung: …

[PM] Super Yoosung: I’m cute :(

[PM] Super Yoosung: wAIT

[PM] Super Yoosung: How do you know I’m carrying him right now?? You’re not even h

[PM] Super Yoosung: Oh.

[PM] Super Yoosung: Is that what they’re talking about on the forums?

[PM] Super Yoosung: I don’t get it. I’ve carried other people around before;;; What’s the big deal?;;;

[PM] Super Yoosung: Well, thanks anyway Ty!

[PM] Typhoon: ... 

[PM] Typhoon: Yw

 

Yoosung wracks his brain for reasons why people would even care about this but can’t think of anything. Is it because Zen picked such a pretty character to play? Not that. Not that that’s what Yoosung thinks or anything but. It’s true. Usually people that want to be that pretty pick the girls so it’s just...different. That’s all.

 

[PM] Lovely Zen: Yoosung?

[PM] Lovely Zen: Um

[PM] Lovely Zen: I think we’re here lol

[PM] Lovely Zen: Can you let me down now?;;

 

Oops, yeah they’re in the middle of the outpost and everything. How long has Yoosung’s character just been standing there? That’s embarrassing...

 

[PM] Super Yoosung: Nope!

[PM] Lovely Zen: No????

[PM] Super Yoosung: You have to pay the toll first!

[PM] Lovely Zen: Toll? Really?;; What would you even want?  -_-a

 

Oh shoot. Yoosung hadn’t thought that far ahead. He was just, you know, he ferries people around all the time and sometimes he makes a joke about a toll and no one takes him seriously and um?? the longer he fails to laugh it off the more it starts to seem like Zen would actually give him something?? and and and??? should he ask for something? _does_ he want something? what does he want????

 

[PM] Lovely Zen: Lolol come on, you can’t leave me hanging like this

[PM] Super Yoosung: a picbptuer!

 

NO!!! A picture???? Why would he say that? Oh my god no he’s being weird again oh no oh no. And they don’t even have each other’s contact info so how would Zen even send him one anyw—

 

[PM] Lovely Zen: A what?

 

Yoosung lets out a gusting sigh of relief. Thank god, his typos saved his life for once.

 

[PM] Super Yoosung: Nobthing!

[PM] Super Yoosung: Um

[PM] Lovely Zen: Just spit it out dude 

[PM] Lovely Zen: I mean, it’s not going to be anything sketchy, right? Lololol

[PM] Super Yoosung: No!

[PM] Super Yoosung: Um so

[PM] Lovely Zen: Okay now you’re starting to make me nervous;;;;;

[PM] Super Yoosung: Iwanttoknowwhatyoulooklike!

[PM] Lovely Zen: ...you want me to tell you what I look like?

[PM] Lovely Zen: That’s all? Lololol don’t I already do that?

[PM] Super Yoosung: What? No, you just compliment yourself all the time -_-

[PM] Super Yoosung: I can’t picture you at all

[PM] Super Yoosung: I just keep imagining your elf avatar in jeans and a t-shirt with a laptop in your lap lol

[PM] Lovely Zen: That’s not too far off actually lolol

[PM] Lovely Zen: I’m wearing a tank-top though

 

All the blood rushes to Yoosung’s face and he wheezes, chest fluttering. Get a grip, get a grip...What’s he even embarrassed about? This is stupid. He grabs the cup of water on his desk and tries to guzzle it down but just ends up coughing water out of his windpipe.

 

[PM] Lovely Zen: Well, there’s a few differences but this was the closest I could get with all those little sliders;;

 

Yoosung wipes water off his chin and sets the cup down.

 

[PM] Super Yoosung: So...you’ve got the long hair and everything?

[PM] Lovely Zen: Yep lol. Isn’t it nice~

 

Yoosung tries to picture meeting someone like this in real life. Tall, kind of thin, long hair...no one has that kind of coloring outside of a fantasy game except for that famous actor Zen’s so obsessed with so...blond maybe? Like him? Oh, wait—

 

[PM] Super Yoosung: Did you grow it out because of your crush on that guy? Lolololololol

[PM] Lovely Zen: WHAT NO

[PM] Lovely Zen: I keep telling you that’s not it OMG

[PM] Lovely Zen: I just like it this way!

[PM] Super Yoosung: Lololololol

 

Zen’s crush...Yoosung hasn’t thought about it until now but Zen’s a guy and he definitely has a crush on that actor who’s also a guy so then that means…?

Yoosung guides Zen through his quest with only half a mind on it, but when Zen notices he manages to cover it up by saying he’s worried about some test or something in whatever class. He really does have a test in whatever class...uh...biology maybe?...he’ll check his notes for it later. Later tonight. Or maybe tomorrow morning.

After Zen logs off a while later Yoosung contemplates doing the same so he can study. But...it’s still on his mind. And he doesn’t understand why. It wouldn’t hurt to talk about it a little, right? Yoosung bites his lip, debating it for a minute, and then hops in the guild chat.

 

[GUILD] Super Yoosung: Wow so I think I have a gay friend now

[GUILD] BigTime99: O wowwww what a shocker lol

[GUILD] Super Yoosung: I mean I was a little surprised yeah?;;

[GUILD] BigTime99: i

[GUILD] BigTime99: R u serious dude lolololol

[GUILD] Super Yoosung: ...what?

[GUILD] BigTime99: Uh. hate to braek it to u man but

[GUILD] BigTime99: Youve had a gay friend for while

[GUILD] Super Yoosung: wHAT

[GUILD] Super Yoosung: Since when??? Who?????

[GUILD] BigTime99: Ur lookin at him buddy

[GUILD] Super Yoosung: !!!!!! HWO DID I NOT KNWO THIS??!!!

[GUILD] BigTime99: Beats me

[GUILD] Bigtime99: Not liek i keep my manlust a secret lmao i thought u knew

[GUILD] BigTime99: Also i thoght u had som gay in u too?

[GUILD] BigTime99: I mean didnt we hav a whole convo about how hot won bin is

[GUILD] Super Yoosung: What??? No??? Everyone thinks he’s hot! That’s just a fact!!!

[GUILD] BigTime99: Ok dude sfine whatevs no biggie

[GUILD] BigTime99: Oh

[GUILD] BigTime99: Ty’s bi by the by

[GUILD] BigTime99: lol

[GUILD] Super Yoosung: Bi? Wait...am I the only straight one here?;;;;

[GUILD] Black Talon: i’m straight

[GUILD] BigTime99: Yea tal’s the token strait. got the wife n kids an the whole shebang

[GUILD] Super Yoosung: Oh, so there’s two of us I guess?

[GUILD] Super Yoosung: ...

[GUILD] Super Yoosung: ...um

[GUILD] Super Yoosung: Hello?

[GUILD] Super Yoosung: Why isn’t anybody saying anything?;;;

[GUILD] Typhoon: lol

[GUILD] Black Talon: lol

[GUILD] BigTime99: lolkllollol

 

So that ends up clearing absolutely nothing up.

 

* * *

 

OFFICIAL LOLOL FORUMS

    —In-game

        —Misc Discussion

 

Thread: For real, please help me figure out who this guy is SERIOUS REPLIES ONLY

 

SupermanSuperstan

   Look I tried leaving it alone but it’s really bothering me doesn’t everyone remember what happened a few months ago?

   I love the guy but Super Yoosung’s a little gullible and there’s been all those articles about the game devs having trouble with hackers…

   Here, I’m attaching the pic again

   -img attch thisguy.jpg-

 

SupermanSuperstan

   Bump

 

SupermanSuperstan

   Bump

 

SupermanSuperstan

   Bump

 

MademoiselleP

   Cease this nonsense before you become worse than even the rest of the common masses.

   Clearly no one has the information you’re looking for.

 

SupermanSuperstan

   I’m not breaking any rules you can’t ban me

 

MademoiselleP

   You’ve bumped this thread three times in the past two hours.

   I’m astounded we’d have to write something as simple as this down.

   Do you not have any sense at all?

 

~~LeGrandQueefWizard~~

    ~~dont get ur undies in a knot mp this is the gossip forum nobody cares~~

    ~~thats why youre in charge of it lolololol~~

 

MademoiselleP

   YOU! CHANGE YOUR USERNAME IMMEDIATELY!

 

~~LeGrandQueefWizard~~

    ~~awwww but i just did and dont you like it? i made it fancy just for you lolololol~~

 

MademoiselleP

   BANNED!

 

KitKat

   Uh are u still looking for answers for this? I don’t, like, kno anything about him but

   Isn’t Zen a famous actor? So like...maybe he’s actually she? You kno, a fangirl?

 

SupermanSuperstan

   Oh. I didn’t know that...thanks maybe I’ll look this actor guy up then...

 

MademoiselleP

   Unbelievable. This is all just baseless speculation.

 

KitKat

   ...um, u must be new here lol

**Author's Note:**

> many thanks to @ploppypeach, without whom this fic would never have been written <3
> 
> also a reminder that you can find me on twitter @rixsig_writes if you wanna throw zensung prompts at me ;D


End file.
